Thursday, June 9, 2011

What about Dating?

What is the purpose of dating? I remember one late afternoon when my
sister, Amy, came home from a social gathering. "I met this girl, Naomi,"
she said, making a weird face as she continued. "She's ten years old and she
was talking about how she had NINE ex-boyfriends"
"Nine?" I gasped. "Wow. That's just sad."
I've asked many people what they thought of teenagers or
younger children dating. "Oh," my Grandma says, "They're just having fun."


Now, first of all, I want to know how a ten year old can date. Think about
it. They can't drive. How do they GET there? uhuh..... Their parents drive
them to their dates. Why? Well, parents probably make up excuses, "Oh, well I
dated when I was young which naturally means its okay for my kid to do it if
he or she wants to. What harm could be done? There's nothing sinful about
it... It's just a little date. We won't let it get too out of hand."
What is wrong with this mind-set? Well, honestly, a lot. I think parents
should be responsible enough for their children that they actually think
about what they're doing. What they are filling their child's mind with. By
taking them to a date they're promoting it in their children's eyes they are
initially telling them that its okay to date, and break up, and date some
more. This sounds like practice for divorce, not for marriage.

So what is really so wrong with dating? Everyone does it. Why can't we also
do it as well? Because we, as young women of God need to preserve ourselves
for ONE person, and one person only. Not share ourselves with every guy that
we ever date. So which of your NINE boyfriends is the one that you are going
to marry? There's more than a ninety-nine percent chance that it will be none
of them. So what have you wasted? By dating nine different people, plus many
more to come you have wasted yourself. You have wasted a part of
yourself which should have been initially stored up for the one person that God
has planned as your husband. Can you imagine marrying someone later in your
life and saying, "Oh yeah, I dated these people in elementary
school, and these others in middle school and this group of guys in
high school, not to mention the ones I dated in college... but I love you
now." Sure. That's *real* reassuring. Do you want to be that way toward
your husband? By this time, what do you have left for the guy that you actually
marry? It's like God has given you a wall of purity, or chastity, but by dating
numerous people and ultimately defying the man that God has planned for your
life, you are slowly tearing down your wall. Every time you go on a date with
someone, some of your wall is chiseled off, every time you profess your "true
love" to your boyfriend, you are chiseling down a part of your wall,
Everytime you hold his hand or think "dreamy" thoughts about him you are
chipping down your wall and giving that boy something that is meant solely
for your husband alone, not nine or more different guys. By the time you are
married, what is going to be left for your real husband?

Some of you may think, "Oh well I'm dating this guy and we really, really
love each other. We KNOW we're going to get married. We've known each other
for a long time. Just because we're only thirteen doesn't make any
difference.." A decision to date or court someone with the intention of
marriage is a much bigger concept than what a thirteen year old is going to
be able to understand. It's a life-long commitment. Besides, if you really
love each other that much, than you will be able to wait for a proper age
won't you? Or are you scared that you need to date now because if you don't,
you fear that in the future you will forget about each other. If you forget,
then you don't really love the person do you?

A lot of times I have seen girls so wrapped up in how "romantic" it would be
to actually "date" someone that they don't actually consider that they may
be giving away a part of themselves. Especially if they're not serious.
Sadly, I have seen a lot of bad things come from this.

What ultimately comes out of dating at a young age? I once knew this woman... She
was about in her late thirties and she had been married three
times, but divorced all three again and was now single and dating regularly. This
is what dating regularly in your teenage years is preparing you for as
an adult. You get used to being able to break up with the person that you're
dating whenever they do something that you find wrong, embarassing or merely
distasteful. Dating at a young age promotes divorce in the future, whether
you think so or not. God made marriage for *life.* Can you just throw away
the words "until death do you part"? Divorce rates rose to 50% of marriages
in the year 2010. This is what dating is doing to America.

So, summing everything up, what is wrong with dating? #1 that you are giving
a part of yourself away to someone that's not meant to have it. You are
chiseling down your wall and in doing so, are unpleasing to God and already
defying the man that you will marry one day. #2 that it promotes divorce in
the near future.

So what should we do about it? We need to stop dating. Instead, in our
teenage years we should be focusing on learning about God and being
more like him, rather than spending every spare minute we have texting our

Now, some people reading this may think that I'm crazy. Others
may think that I have some good points, but don't want to give up their
dating lives and parties. If you're serious and you really want to stop and
save yourself for one man, are you really willing to give up dating and
having your "fun" now so that you will be rewarded later in life, and
ultimately be rewarded by God? Are YOU willing to sacrifice?

1 comment:

  1. You make some valid points, Sofia! Keep up the writing. This world needs to hear more of your thoughts.


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